Fatigue
It’s about 10:30 at night. I’m waiting for an airplane in San Francisco so I can fly to Medford to visit a couple of other AMF camps this week to learn about some of the great things that they are doing. I’m tired. It’s been a long week. We have huge challenges that we’re trying to work through at the Home Office; my daughter is preparing to leave for college; I’m preaching at our church. There are a whole lot of things that are making me very tired. Sunday during the pastoral prayer at church, I literally fell asleep. I realized how fatigued I am.
There some problems with fatigue, some things fatigue does to me. For one, it makes me self-centered. I begin to feel sorry for myself, push myself, and begin to think about how everything around me affects me instead of how I can affect other people.
Two, it zaps my creativity. I want to just get by. I want to just make it through the day. I want to find a nice, soft bed to curl up in and not be creative and look for solutions.
Three, it shortens my ability to be kind. I find my words are a little sharper, my attitudes a little more rigid, my thoughts a little less kind.
Four, I focus more on tasks than on relationships. I look at my day timer, the list I have to accomplish each day, and when I’m tired, it’s all about that list. But when I’m rested – really rested – I find myself gravitating toward relationships.
The fifth way fatigue affects me is I become self-reliant. Instead of resting in Jesus, I just work harder, toughen up, pull myself through. I do the opposite of what it says in Luke 10: The harvest is plentiful, but workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest for more workers. Not “work harder,” but turn your attention to God. Rest in Him, and He will provide the necessary resources.
I’m looking forward to a good night’s sleep. I don’t want to be tired anymore. I want to rest and go at it again when I’m refreshed.
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